Have you found...

My search for a modest formal dress to wear to military functions is beginning and my outlook is not at all rosy on the prospect.  Has anyone found a site or retailer who has garment friendly formal dresses that don't scream prom dresses, bridesmaid dress, or mother of the bride dresses?  In the past I have used a sweater skirt combo, but hubby doesn't think it quite works.  He also thinks this should be a relatively easy task.  Maybe it is and my pessimism is getting the best of me, but this subject has caused me many a headache in the past.  I have found a few that might work, I just cling to the hope that somewhere out there there is someone who recognizes that there are younger LDS women who have to attend formal events who don't want to look like a frumpy old lady or a tiny-boper Laurel off to prom.  If you know if such a thing exists, please let me know!

Grateful for a Job

There are things I hate about military life, like deployment, but given the economic uncertainty in our country, I am very grateful my spouse has a job.  We have good health insurance, dental, vision, a good home to live in, and the knowledge we have job security.  Flexibility is key to surviving as a military spouse, you have to know plans can always change (my spouse almost got called home early from our honeymoon to deploy 4 weeks early) and there really is no such thing as a sure thing when you are talking about orders, but today, I am very grateful getting laid off isn't something I have to have a contingency plan for.  I am also grateful that military retirement is still a really good deal.  Don't get me wrong, twenty-years is a big chunk of your life, but it also has some good perks at the end.  So for today, I am just thankful.

Commissary - Friend or Foe?

I have this ongoing battle with my spouse regarding the commissary.  Okay, it's not so much a battle as it is a lack of understanding.  I love the commissary, even though I have to tip the baggers (most of whom are old and shouldn't be carrying my groceries) and the stores are less than modern.  My spouse, not so much.   He is not a fan of stores that are feeling their age and he is convinced that prices are the same at stores out in town.  Don't get me wrong, shopping sales, I can get stuff way cheaper than at the commissary, but not every day and not all of the stuff we use.  Last night we ventured to a store out in town and I was shocked at some of the prices.  I seriously was wondering how anyone affords to eat!

My biggest gripe about the commissary (besides the rather aggressive 90 year-old baggers who work only for tips) is the lack of generic products.  I fully recognize that I am paying generic prices for name brand products for the most part, but not always.  And I really appreciate the generic products that the commissary does carry.  

I know the quality of commissaries vary greatly from post to post.  I have been in some on large posts, that are nicer than any store out in town, but we have mostly been stationed at smaller posts with older, smaller facilities.

Do you use the commissary?  Does it save you money?  Does your commissary have very aggressive elderly baggers?  Or are the hassles involved more than you can handle?

Register to Vote!

For those of you who happen to be in California, this is extra-especially important this election.  Believe me, I know it is hard to get motivated to vote in an area where you may only be for a couple of years, you don't know the local politics, and if you are like me, you don't really care who wins for city counsel.  This year those who live in California have the chance to vote on Proposition 8 which is a constitutional amendment that will define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.  Regardless of how adamantly you feel on the topic, our church leaders have stressed the importance of the outcome of this vote.  We can't pretend to understand the potential ramifications if this measure fails, but I believe our leaders do.  For that reason I am encouraging everyone who can vote in California to do so.  Educate yourself on this issue, get registered, and have your voice heard.  For those who don't live in California, register anyway!  This is one of the many freedoms our spouses fight for, it would be tragic to not let our voices be heard.  Remember, there is not enough darkness in all the world, to put out the light of one small candle!

On base...or off?

What have been your housing experiences?  Has anyone in the housing office looked at you like you were crazy when you showed up with four kids?  Do you like living on base or out in town better?  I know for me, I have liked both.  It was nice when we were just married and could share a tiny apartment and pocket some BAH.  But I have also enjoyed the convenience of living on base and the chance to be in a ward with other military members of the church.  For me that is huge.  Having people who can really relate to the situation you are in, both with your spouse's career and spirituality, means a lot to me.  Not that I haven't loved the wards we have lived in where we were it as far as active duty, but there are times, when it is nice to not have to explain acronyms.  Granted, military housing isn't all its cracked up to be a lot of the time.  Some of them aren't well maintained and even though the military has privatized most housing and most private contractors are working to improve things, in some areas they still have a long ways to go.  But out in town places aren't always any better.  In one of our places we had major plumbing issues 2 weeks after my other half deployed.  So it is me, by myself, trying to move furniture out of the water, deal with the landlord and then deal with another two weeks in a hotel (it was okay, but Motel 6 quality, not the Hilton) while they re-plumbed our entire apartment.  Of course I had to clean up after the contractors were finished.  Then I spent the next few months being sure that I was dying from mold growing somewhere in the house.  But I didn't die, and that was the end of the plumbing problems, and for that apartment we were able to save a little money.  So let's hear about it.  I want the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Which do you like better?  Do you like being in a ward that has other military folks in it? Or do you like to do your own thing and go to ward where you aren't just one of the military people who will be gone in a few years?  

How do you do it?

There are many many subjects I could ask this about, because lets face it, you all do this whole crazy military life so much better than I do and I have it pretty easy so far.  But the question for today is how do you do your food storage?  I know we have all been counseled to have some, but lets face it, who wants to move 400 lbs. of wheat and legumes?  And when you get the more exotic, but admittedly more than just a little ways out of the way assignments (like Japan) where storage doesn't come as easily, what do you do?

We have started trying to accumulate at least some and my mother-in-law did some dry pack canning for us at her local cannery (thanks!) for stuff like rice and powdered milk that we will use.  But I am not up for trying to do home canning outside of a little freezer jam (because contrary to what my husband thinks, it really does taste better than Smuckers.)

So ladies (and any guys out there) what do you do?  Do you try to grow a garden?  Do you have a deep freeze?  Have you given up all together? (I'm leaning that direction, although I believe on having enough toilet paper on hand in an emergency!)  So please post comments and let me know your good ideas.

A talk to share with Wards new to military folks

I ran across this Ensign article that was published in 1991.  She gives a lot of decent advice on how Wards can help military families.  If you are in a Ward that is new to the military, it might help them to understand some of our needs.

I can't believe no one else has done this yet!

I was really surprised when I started looking for websites or blogs or other online resources for LDS military spouses that there really weren't any.  I found a MySpace group, but that is a little too public for me.  I don't know about you, but given the nature of my spouse's job, I try to minimize the amount of information that is on-line about us.  

My spouse was talking to the bishop in the ward next door to ours the other day when they ran into each other on base.  The bishop had just started a tour where he was going to have to deploy for the first time since joining the military and he wasn't excited about it.  I thought about his wife and their gaggle of kids, and wondered what support they would get during deployment?  I also thought about how wonderful the church is and what a great social and support network it is, but there are times, like during deployment, when at least I felt a little out of place.  When people would come up to me at church and ask how I was doing, I always felt it was tinged with pity.  "Oh you poor thing, only been married four weeks and your spouse deploys."  

I would attend spouse club events held by our unit, but never felt 100% comfortable there either because much of the socialization revolved around alcohol, and while they were great and amazing people, our lack of shared values made it hard for me to feel like I really had someone I could talk to who really understood everything I was going through.

Hence this blog.  We and our spouses face challenges that many of our Ward members, family members and friends can only imagine.  I know many of you face challenges that would blow me away.  One of the reasons Joseph Smith told the Saints to meet together often was because just by being together, they could support and edify each other and make each other's burden's light.  So please, share your ideas, your triumphs and tragedies.  Regardless of how you feel, there is probably someone else who has gone through something similar and survived.  This is a non-judgemental forum that will reflect LDS standards.